No one chooses to divorce; your circumstances force it upon you. But no matter why you are divorcing, you can control the divorce process.
It is entirely up to you whether you “take control” (mediation) or “turn over that control” (litigation) to lawyers and judges.
Couples who can maintain self-control despite their urges to lash out can save a great deal of money and time by utilizing mediation to resolve family disputes.
Why Consider Mediation?
Control. In mediation, the participants maintain control over the process and the outcome. Rather than turning everything over to lawyers and judges, you decide how fast mediation moves forward and what the mediation process’s goal is. Will you divorce or merely agree to a trial separation? Will you share control of your family home, or will it be sold? Will the children sleep in your home or stay with Grandpa and Grandma this summer? You and your spouse decide all of those questions, not turned over to a judge who knows very little about you.
Moreover, you are not stuck in mediation once you start. You can end mediation and move on with an alternative legal process anytime. You are in control!
Cheap. Do the math… you can pay one divorce attorney-mediator to work with both of you in divorce mediation. Or you can each pay your divorce attorney their retainer and hourly rate to talk at each other and then tell you what the other attorney said. Those attorney fees add up fast!
Fast. The typical traditional divorce case in Oregon goes to a final trial eight to twelve months after being initially filled. Divorce Mediation cases are often settled and signed by a judge within weeks of starting the mediation process. Why? Because judges are very busy and under-staffed. There are not enough judges to hear all the cases brought to them by all the couples seeking divorce. In mediation, however, there is no trial. The mediated final agreement is signed by the parties outside the courthouse and delivered to the judge, who must review and sign the mediated final agreement during office hours.
Tailored. Divorce trials end in decisions reached by judges who only know of you and your family and what they glean from the arguments made by your divorce attorney. Evidence rules and legal procedures prevent the judge from sitting down with you and your spouse to tailor a divorce arrangement that meets your children’s needs. Instead, judges are forced to impose boilerplate-type rules on you and your family based on the minimal information allowed under the rules of evidence. Divorce mediation cuts through the red tape and ensures all the facts are known and considered to protect you and your children.
Privacy: Divorce mediation is a private process, unlike litigation, which plays out in a public courtroom. Further, discovery and court rules in litigation generate very public documents that include allegations of bad acts by one another (your family’s “dirty laundry,” for example), financial details of your life, and very private things about your children. All of that remains private in mediation.
Preservation of Relationships: Maintaining a working relationship after divorce is often crucial to clients, especially when children are involved. Try to imagine working with the other parent after your divorce if he or she has “drug your family through the mud” publicly in court. Sometimes, tough things must be said when ending a relationship. But in mediation, those tough things are told in private and in a way that is designed to maintain everyone’s dignity.
Client Satisfaction. Divorce mediation participants report much higher satisfaction with the divorce process than traditional litigation clients. Even if litigants are satisfied with the outcome of a case, they are often dissatisfied with the cost, stress, uncertainty, and acrimony associated with litigation. Mediation participants frequently state that 1) privacy, 2) speed, and 3) ability to be heard are the three main reasons for recommending divorce mediation to their friends.
Divorce is one of the most important transactions you will undertake during your lifetime. Moreover, you are forced to make those decisions when you are under financial and emotional pressure. Having an experienced family law mediator can make all of the difference.