When you waved your grown-up kids off to college, cheered at their graduation, congratulated them on their first job, or helped them move in with a partner, you didn’t expect that one day you would be inviting them back into your home. In today’s world, many fledgling adults are forced by circumstance back into their parents’ homes.
“Boomerang children,” as these adults are known, are primarily transitional and short-lived arrangements with their parents. Working with your grown-up kids as adults can be very frustrating.
This type of arrangement requires planning. If John parties late and sleeps until noon or Jill turns down every job possibility as not quite perfect, you may understandably run out of patience. But if you see that your Boomerang child has a constructive plan, you’ll be more supportive and more likely to forgive the occasional detour along their road to adulthood.
Mediating adult child arrangements can help calm tensions by working out “rules” by which both the Boomerang child and parent can live. These arrangements outline a plan for assisting the Boomerang child in obtaining more education, providing daycare to free up time for sending out resumés or drug or alcohol treatment plans. Adult-child agreements can also set everyone’s expectations regarding potential support arrangements, rental contracts, or household chore assignments.
These negotiations can be very stressful and often create emotional breakdowns. You need an experienced mediator to guide your family through the process.